24. Recently graduated with my MA in Humanities from the University of Chicago and am currently working as a barista, writing cover letters and putting together resumes in my (limited) free time.
I like words, explosions, dancers, social justice, tattoos, yoga, Star Wars, puns, feminism, and rock n' roll.
Welcome to my brain.
I want porn to have titles that really tell me what I’m interested in. I want to see titles like:
Consensual Lesbians Have Sex Exclusively with Other Women
My Girlfriend was Wasted so I Took Her Home and Tucked Her In Gently and then Fucked Her Brains Out the Next Morning when She was Sober
Very Strong Man Throws Woman Around a Little Bit, but Not in a Disrespectful Way
Plumber Walks in to Find Girl Left Tied to the Bed, so He Covers Her with a Blanket and Unties Her. She Rewards Him by Buying Him a Sandwich.
Sexy Professor Tells Student that the Only Way to Get an A is to Study Really Hard. She Does, Aces the Test, and then Fucks the Professor on His Desk Because He’s Really Hot and She’s been Wanting to All Semester.
I just had my first real one night stand and I feel kinda weird about it…
Like, we didn’t exchange numbers…he lives in LA and was only in town for a wedding…and I don’t even know his last name…like what was the point? I mean, maybe if it had been like mind-blowing sex…but it was really brief…and then he left right after because he had to go to his brother’s house and catch a plane…
I kind of did it because I was sad…and I was having a weird night…but now I feel a little more sad…because he was really nice and hot and successful and intelligent and very well dressed…and now I want to keep him…but I’ll never see him or speak to him again.
tl;dr — Tiffany is really bad at one-night stands.
So…I have an interview on Tuesday for a job that I applied to without any real hope of even hearing back from…
Does Director of Community Programs sound as scary as I think it does?
Don’t get me wrong, I could totally do this job. I want it terribly, now that I have a chance, and I would do a great job at it…it just sounds so official. Getting this job and turning 25 at essentially the same time would seal my fate as an adult.
I haven’t decided if that’s a good thing.